Friend: c’mon let’s dance
Me: uh wait
Friend: *shakes ass like no tomorrow*
Me: *shuffles left and right like 40 yo white dad*
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
once a girl in my biology class asked if the sun had bones
Once a girl in my spanish class asked if fish was a dairy product
once a girl in my biology class exclaimed, “i didn’t know you breathed when you were sleeping!”
Once a guy in my health class argued with the teacher for an entire period that peanut butter was a meat
Thank God in homeschooled.